Dogs-- Connection

One of the goals of working with your dog every day is building a sense of connection. When you and your dog connect, your dog will look at you, follow you, be aware of where you are and what you are doing, and mirror your emotions. And you will do the same with your dog. How to build a connection depends on the dog and on you. Some pairs take time to build friendships and connections and have to get to know each other first. Others form that instant bond. Some never form connections, but do learn to work with each other. 

Tippy is the little dog I moved to Texas with me. We have been training together for 3 years. He is a bossy guy, but we have mutual respect and love working together. We got our connection in training class when he learned to work for treats. All the sudden the light went on in his brain and he learned working, showing off, and forming a partnership was fun. We have been together most of the time since he came into the rescue. He was one of "my" pack and went lots of places with me. I knew in the trials, he was sensitive to my emotions and could tell if I was nervous about being in the ring or happy about showing off what he was able to do. His performance reflected my emotions. When let myself be nervous, he will shut down, look around for the trouble, and not preform, leading us to not qualify. When I get myself to be excited and thrilled to show off what my dog has learned and show everyone what a dog who was almost killed because he was a biting guard dog can do, we score high with a smile and a happy wagging tail. What I didn't realize is how he connected to me other ways. We had a 3 day drive to Texas with me pulling my camper and my mom following in her car. I usually get nervous driving. I had my 4 dogs in crates in the van with me, all my stuff that I chose to move in my camper, van, and mom's car and I was pulling the camper on the highway for the first time. Traffic and highways make me nervous because I can't control the other drivers, I can't control the wind blowing the camper, and I constantly run worst case scenarios through my mind. Listening to books reduces some of the nerves but I tend to hold my breath going through cities, or when being passed by trucks or rvs, or when in construction zones. Tippy's crate was the top crate, right behind my head. He panted when I held my breath, every time when I was nervous. On the second day, I realized he was doing this. I tried just holding my breath, not nervous, he didn't pant. Just when I was nervous. He was a great reminder to breathe. Even when there was a concrete barrier on one side of me and a tractor trailer on the other. 

You can't force a connection. Pressuring a dog to give you one won't win one. You have to appreciate that individual dog's personality, good traits, annoying traits, and the way the dog thinks. What does the dog like to do. Do it with the dog. Don't push your expectations on how the dog should interact onto the dog. Not all dogs will kiss you in the face when you cry. Some will shove their heads under your hand, others will guard your back. Connection building takes time, possibly treats, or long walks, or playing tug, or throwing a ball, or cuddling on the couch, or swimming, or car rides, or training classes, or whatever you and the dog like to do together.